


Spectrum

by psychotraumatic



Series: Sensory Overload [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Color Blindness, Colors, Gyuhao, Implied Relationships, M/M, Wonhui - Freeform, coupshan, gyuhao-implied, howoo, jeongcheol-implied, soonhoon-implied, wwjn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-26 11:51:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16681096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychotraumatic/pseuds/psychotraumatic
Summary: Jeon Wonwoo doesn’t know color, but he does know Wen Junhui.





	Spectrum

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently, WonHui is my new muse even if they barely give me any content.
> 
> As always, I have a [playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/iye3s7ut5881hol9hwusn05gp/playlist/27hBy8WOMrRA75JoreLRkr?si=HQgXd4_4SHan1FQh6AZ8zA) for everyone to listen to while reading.
> 
> Enjoy!

His heart falls the second the professor announces the theme for the next assignment. He’s bitter enough to wonder if it’s a targeted attack against him.

_What’s your favorite color?_

The question is simple enough, one that many can easily answer with words or a review of all the things on their person. Perhaps some will go the fancier route and rattle off shades that sound more like tongue twisters, only to find that it’s a hue not far from a bright red or a cool blue. But for Jeon Wonwoo, naming a particular color is a challenge considering he can never be too sure what he’s seeing in the first place.

Born with tritanopia, Wonwoo has problems distinguishing colors within the spectra of blue and yellow. Blues, indigos, and violets appear to him as greens and grays, sometimes even black. The lighter shades of purple end up looking as varying hues of red. Yellows just paint everything pink. The color vision deficiency barely inhibits him from everyday activities. If anything, Wonwoo manages to work his way around certain limitations, specifically when it comes to his education and his passion – except maybe for this. How can a photography major work on a project involving colors when he can’t see them right?

All things granted, the professor doesn’t find it surprising to have Wonwoo come up to the front at the end of class.

“I know what you’re going to say, Jeon,” he says with both hands up in surrender. “I’m not doing this to single you out. While I do have a critical eye for everyone’s works, I’m here to push everyone to the limits.”

“I’m the only one in class with color blindness,” Wonwoo deadpans. “How is that pushing everyone?”

If it was anyone else, Wonwoo may have gotten a reprimand for talking back. But Professor Han is someone who prefers his students to be ready and willing to engage in debate.

“Critical thinking,” the teacher replies. “The question is quite simple, as I’m sure you’ve deduced. That in itself is the challenge. I’m not looking for projects with a certain color singled out while everything else is in shades of gray. I don’t want to look at various collages of everything orange in the world. See beyond the question. Give me more substance than that.”

“So I can just give you a portfolio of black and white images?”

Professor Han scoffs, shaking his head as he packs his things. “I know you can do better than that.”

Wonwoo’s color blindness is the reason why all his photographs come in black and white, sometimes sepia if he wants more sense of nostalgia. There’s no guesswork involved. Rather than wondering if the colors will come out right, he focuses on the looming shadows, the vibrant highlights, the varying depths. It becomes less an aesthetic and more of his art.

“Think of it this way,” Professor Han starts. “An abstract artist can splatter paint on a canvas and call it his masterpiece. For the regular person, it’s just a mess of colors. But for those with a keen eye, whether it’s the artist himself or a critic, that painting is chaos and tranquility in one.”

For all the sharpness of his features, Wonwoo’s face is as open as he wants it to be. And as the realization dawns on him, Professor Han offers a knowing smile to egg him on.

“You can do it, Wonwoo.”

 

≈ø≈ø≈ø≈ø≈

 

Despite the consultation with Professor Han, Wonwoo finds himself pouring over photos for hours and days on end, hoping for anything in particular to jump out at him. While he’s proud of the work he does, he realizes how limited his repertoire is for the type of project his teacher is looking for.

“Still nothing, huh?”

Wonwoo jumps in his seat, shoulders tense in surprise at hearing his roommate’s voice. He didn’t even notice the other come in, but there he was perched on his study desk, eating a pack of gummy bears while eyeing him with curiosity.

“Has anyone told you that you look like a cat?” Wonwoo muses. “All that’s missing is a tail swinging around.”

“You underestimate me,” his roommate says, cheshire grin lighting up his face. “Everyone else says I probably have been one in all my lives save for this.”

“You’re an idiot.”

The resounding chuckles that follow causes warmth to spread through Wonwoo’s chest. The other boy’s laughter always sounds so carefree and somehow manages to set everyone else at ease. And Wonwoo’s pretty sure Wen Junhui is one of the few reasons he remains sane.

“But seriously,” Junhui says once he sobers up. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

“Can you buy me one of those glasses that help correct color blindness?” Wonwoo asks, lips pulled into a miserable pout.

Both of them know that Junhui can’t. Those glasses cost an arm and a leg, maybe even half a liver.

“The answer isn’t always in black and white.”

“Stop,” Wonwoo huffs. “You’re not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be funny,” Junhui flatly replies.

And he’s not. Wonwoo can tell by the thoughtful pursing of Junhui’s lips.

“Have you ever tried shooting in color?” he asks. “I mean, you don’t have complete color blindness. You’re only missing blue and yellow. I’m sure you realize there are thousands of colors beyond that.”

Wonwoo’s eyes fall back to the stack of photos littering his desk, mulling over Junhui’s words in silence. He thinks back to the analogy Professor Han gave him, mumbles Junhui’s advice to himself.

_Nothing is ever just black and white._

“Junnie?”

“Yeah?”

“I need your help.”

 

* * *

 

Wonwoo stares at the expanse of Junhui’s chest, brows furrowing as he tries to decipher exactly what he’s looking at.

“I’m really wearing a pink shirt.”

The statement makes Wonwoo snap his gaze up, ears red at the tips for being caught. “Sorry,” he says sheepishly.

“It’s okay,” Junhui replies with a smile, well aware that anything pink can sometimes be yellow in disguise for his friend. “You know you can always just ask.”

“I used to hate art time in daycare,” Wonwoo muses. “Sure, it’s fun to just draw and whatever, but my stuff tended to look like abstract pieces. I always end up picking the pink crayon instead of yellow. Flowers were fine. The sun was a whole other issue.”

“No one expects you to be Da Vinci at 4 years old,” Junhui snorts.

Wonwoo shrugs and turns his attention back to his books. As much as he loves photography, he has other classes to pass if he wants to survive college. But even as he tries to digest a math problem on angles, he can’t help but think back to Junhui’s pink shirt and his pink suns.

“What does yellow look like?” he asks, cutting through the comfortable silence in the room. “Everyone says the sun is yellow, but even when I try looking up, all I see is white.”

“What, no pink sunshine?”

Wonwoo responds by throwing a pencil in his roommate’s general direction. Junhui clamps a hand over his mouth in an attempt to stifle his giggles, though his bright eyes and shaking shoulders do nothing to hide his laughter. Wonwoo narrows his eyes in a glare, eliciting more chuckles as he turns his back.

He’s not really mad. Wonwoo knows Junhui isn’t the type to hurt anyone or anything. He just wishes he can take things more seriously sometimes.

“Seokmin.”

Wonwoo looks over his shoulder, wondering if Junhui was on a call with their friend. He doesn’t see any reason why the other was calling out his name apart from that.

“And Seokmin’s smile,” Junhui continues. “Seokmin’s whole existence, really.”

“What?”

“You asked what yellow looks like. I’m telling you yellow is Seokmin.”

Wonwoo turns around completely, facing Junhui with open curiosity. He listens as his roommate waxes poetic about Seokmin and the color yellow, letting the literature major’s talent in words wash over him.

Wonwoo knows that yellow is the lightest hue of the spectrum, but Junhui goes further to teach him the meaning behind it. Beyond the color of sunshine, yellow is the color of optimism. Wonwoo scoffs there and then at how one word can sum up everything that Seokmin is.

Yellow is also meant to uplift and illuminate, to offer hope and cheerfulness. It’s the color of the the communicator who loves to talk, the entertainer who loves to be the clown. Wonwoo thinks of what yellow should look like and somehow he sees Seokmin’s smile and hears his laugh. He remembers how Seokmin likes to act dumb, make jokes, or pull body gags to get everyone in high spirits. Wonwoo thinks back to all the times Seokmin ever flashed a smile his way, and Junhui asks him how he felt.

“Warm. Happy.”

“That’s why yellow is Seokmin.”

 

≈ø≈ø≈ø≈ø≈

 

“What does the sky look like to you?”

Wonwoo pulls the book down just enough to let his eyes peek over it, squinting at the sky above them. He knows it’s supposed to be blue, but even without clouds, he often wonders if it’s going to rain.

“It looks gray today.”

“Today?”

“Sometimes it looks green.”

“A green sky, wow,” Junhui says with slight awe in his voice. “Did you draw blue treetops in daycare?”

“I hate you,” Wonwoo mutters, pulling his book up to cover his face again.

“Jisoo is blue.”

Blue represents trust, responsibility, honesty, and loyalty. It is sincere, reserved, and quiet – qualities Wonwoo can easily pin to the friend in question. Jisoo is one of the oldest among their group of friends. And although he’s less assertive than Seungcheol and Jeonghan, he doesn’t shy away from acting like everyone’s older brother. Jisoo is a steady presence that they can always count on.

Blue also instills inner confidence, something Jisoo definitely possesses despite his quiet nature. How many times did Wonwoo feel insecure about something or the other, only for Jisoo to calm him down and whisper words of encouragement? Wonwoo can say a lot about how satisfying it feels to have Jisoo flash him a sign of approval, even if it’s as small as a nod and a gentle smile.

“Blue is relaxing,” Junhui adds. “I think it’s why many people consider it calming to lie on their backs and look up at a bright sky.”

Wonwoo takes that as his cue to look up, choosing to close his eyes and imagine Jisoo’s face rather than stare at the dreary gray the sky pretends to be. And he does feel it, the serenity that blue and Jisoo bring.

“Gray and green are Jihoon and Chan.”

Wonwoo snorts, shaking his head to proverbially clear his mind. “That’s ironic.”

Wonwoo hears and feels Junhui’s laughter all at once, looking down to his lap to flash a tender smile. Junhui beams back at him with a grin, and Wonwoo swears it’s as bright as the sun.

Green is nature and spring, a symbol of renewal and rebirth. It’s an emotionally positive color that gives the ability to love and nurture. Wonwoo chuckles a little at how the color’s meaning rings true for Chan. He may be the youngest among them, but he’s the oldest at home. So while he can play up the baby card, Chan is more likely the one to dole out caring gestures.

Green is generous and loves to share, but it also seeks for recognition. The gentle expression on Wonwoo’s face is telling of how he realizes why Chan is green. Because despite the strength the kid puts on display, he still is just a child. One that they can bully into submission, but also one who needs just as much nurturing as anyone else.

Being the combination of yellow and blue, green encompasses the optimism of yellow with the emotional calm of blue. If Wonwoo tries hard enough, he can see the similarities among Chan, Jisoo, and Seokmin. He’s that calm force of nature when everything and everyone gets too noisy, but Chan will also be the first to shout a cheer to lift their spirits.

Green also relates to stability and endurance, offering persistence and strength to cope with anything life throws anyone’s way.

“Chan is like a miracle child,” Wonwoo muses. He thinks to how hard the boy works. Whether it’s a hobby or his studies and everything else in between, Chan’s perseverance will always see him through.

When Junhui starts to describe gray as unemotional, detached, and neutral, Wonwoo can’t help but interject, asking why he seems to hate Jihoon.

“You shush,” Junhui says, swatting at Wonwoo’s jean-clad thigh. “I like him just fine. Will you let me finish?”

Gray is the color of compromise. It’s not black and white, but rather the transition between two non-colors. The darker gray gets, the more dramatic and mysterious it is. The more it looks silver or white, the more illuminating and lively. Wonwoo thinks of Jihoon’s usually surly disposition and how most people tend to stay clear of him, only to be surprised when he’s in a bright mood and laughs at the smallest things.

Gray is conservative and mature, giving a sense of calm and composure. It’s conventional, dependable, and practical. It’s both stabilizing and stifling – qualities that Jihoon exhibit depending on his mood. His no nonsense attitude is enough to tone down the likes of Seokmin, Seungkwan, and Soonyoung, while his genuine care helps Jeonghan, Junhui, and even Wonwoo, to shine.

“Gray isn’t just a mix of black and white. Sometimes it has bits of blue, green, pink, or yellow. If you think about it, that’s how Jihoon is like when he’s among friends.”

Jihoon does have the loyalty of blue, the perseverance of green, the youth of pink, and the silliness of yellow all in one small yet powerful package.

“Don’t let him hear you call him small. I kinda like you alive.”

Wonwoo’s brain short circuits at “I kinda like you”, masking his giddiness with a hard push to get Junhui off his lap.

 

≈ø≈ø≈ø≈ø≈

 

Wonwoo drags his feet as he enters the coffee shop just outside of campus. The smell of the place perks him up a bit, but it’s the overzealous greetings of Soonyoung and Seungkwan that have him wide awake.

Soonyoung is already writing on a cup and easily passes it to Seungkwan before Wonwoo can even approach the counter. He guesses it’s an advantage when his best friend and his minion are baristas of his favorite café.

“Hansol’s at the far back,” Seungkwan throws over his shoulder. “You can hang with him until we clock out.”

Wonwoo sports a thoughtful look as he runs through a mental to-do list, figuring he can afford to relax for a bit rather than dive into his readings after the long day he’s had. With that in mind, he pays for the drink Soonyoung hands him and treks on over to where Hansol is sitting.

Wonwoo ends up staring silently at the boy whose gaze is trained at an unknown spot outside the window. Hansol is bobbing his head to whatever sound is coming out of his headphones, blissfully unaware of Wonwoo’s arrival. The photography student decides to bring out his camera, subsequently catching Hansol’s attention when the flash goes off.

“Sorry,” Wonwoo mumbles.

Hansol is easygoing though, only giving him a huge grin in response before pulling his headphones off. “It’s okay,” he says. “I probably needed to come back down to earth anyway.”

“Were you staring off into space again?” Seungkwan loudly interjects, plopping down ungracefully beside Hansol. Soonyoung follows to sit beside Wonwoo not long after.

“So,” Soonyoung starts. “I need to know something.”

Wonwoo sends him a wary glance. If history is anything to go by, the way Soonyoung fidgets in his seat with excitable energy is never a good thing.

“Are you and Junhui finally dating?”

“Boo Seungkwan!” Soonyoung exclaims before dissolving into whines. “I wanted to be the one to ask that.”

Wonwoo looks stricken as the two continue to bicker. He turns to Hansol for help, only to frown when all the younger boy does is shrug.

“We saw you looking cozy at the courtyard the other day,” Hansol explains. “You with your book, him with his head on your lap. It looked very much like a picnic date.”

Being reminded of the need to feed their curiosity made Soonyoung and Seungkwan sober up, turning insistent gazes to Wonwoo. Both decide to prattle on about how loved up he looked, whatever that meant. Wonwoo attempts to clear up the misunderstanding, only to receive twin looks of protest and disbelief from Soonyoung and Seungkwan, as well as another shrug from Hansol.

“Dude, you need to make a move already!”

“Why can’t you see that you’re perfect for each other? Ugh!”

“Leave him alone, guys, come on.”

If he was tired from having a long day of classes, he gets even more so just watching the energy flow out of his friends.

Wonwoo says just as much to Junhui when he arrives at their dorm room, groaning when he gets another fit of giggles in response.

“Soonyoung is red,” Junhui starts.

Red is energy and passion, action and determination. It’s vibrant, stimulating, and exciting. For his boundless enthusiasm, Wonwoo can clearly see Soonyoung as red. It’s in how he puts his all into dancing, in his complete disregard of using indoor voices, in his efforts to keep up a lively atmosphere.

Red is also for those who are strong-willed, ones who are able to give confidence to others who lack will power. Wonwoo knows firsthand the effects of that energy on himself. He wonders if maybe it’s why Jihoon will sometimes seek Soonyoung’s company when he has long hours ahead, or why Chan has some strange hero worship in his eyes when Soonyoung is teaching new choreography.

“Fun fact, red can stimulate the appetite,” Junhui adds. “Maybe it’s why he and Seungkwan work together well at the coffee shop. And just be thankful that they were with Hansol and not Seokmin.”

Wonwoo tilts his head in confusion, silently asking what Junhui means.

“Seungkwan is orange, which also stimulates the appetite.”

The combination of yellow’s cheerfulness and red’s physical energy makes orange radiate warmth and happiness. The psychology of it is optimistic and uplifting, helping rejuvenate one’s spirit. Seungkwan is a happy pill, Wonwoo can’t contest that. He has a self-deprecating humor that’s sure to rouse laughter from anyone. But he’s also one of the sweetest kids Wonwoo’s ever come across.

Orange is extroverted and uninhibited, sometimes encouraging showing off. Wonwoo scoffs, recalling how Seungkwan once went through a whole day acting as if he was part of _High School Musical,_ making a song and dance number out of walking through their dorm halls and just all out bothering everyone. It was annoying, but a welcome distraction post-midterm exams, pushing people to focus their energies into looking happy and celebrating once hell week was over. No one can deny how beautiful Seungkwan’s voice is anyway.

“You’re basically saying I had no chance between Soonyoung and Seungkwan,” Wonwoo flatly says after a few moments.

He groans as Junhui’s descriptions sink in, the whole encouraging action and exhibition blinking like a marquee in his head. He wonders if being around Seungkwan more will mean he’ll finally be able to take a leap of faith.

“Which is why I said you should be thankful for Hansol,” Junhui says, breaking through Wonwoo’s thoughts.

Wonwoo learns that Hansol is purple or violet. Junhui says they’re interchangeable. The introspective color relates to imagination and spirituality, allowing people to get in touch with deeper thoughts.

“With the amount of daydreaming he does,” Wonwoo quips, trailing off with a short chuckle.

“It’s an accurate description though,” Junhui muses. “Violet can relate to fantasy. It’s like an escape from the practicalities of life. Therefore, daydreamer Hansol.”

Wonwoo knows Hansol thinks deeply more than he daydreams. They often joke that his thoughts are out of this world, but Hansol is also one who can talk about anything and everything, offering more insight than anyone can imagine.

“Is that it?”

It never is, of course. Junhui continues to talk about what makes Hansol purple. The color encourages creative pursuits, how it seeks inspiration and originality through its endeavors. Purple likes being unique and independent – qualities that definitely fit Hansol to a T. It’s in his poetic raps and eccentric music preferences, in his bright clothes and even more vivid aesthetics.

Violet is the energy of red with the calm of blue. It’s a color that inspires reflection and self-awareness. One for sensitive, compassionate, and intuitive souls. Hansol is someone everyone knows for his pretty face and mixed background, but all their friends know it goes deeper than that. Hansol is a child who puts more thought into what he says or does lest it be used against him, and it’s a behavior everyone picks up in a world that’s in definite need of more compassion.

And Wonwoo wonders if it’s Hansol’s presence that made him want for more, for Soonyoung and Seungkwan’s observations to be real.

 

≈ø≈ø≈ø≈ø≈

 

Wonwoo rakes his gaze across the dancefloor, easily spotting Mingyu in the crowd. Being a head taller than everyone else, the younger boy spots him as well, waving his hands in the general direction of where the rest of their friends are. Wonwoo notices Mingyu lean down a bit before Minghao pops out from behind him.

“Of course they’ll be together,” Junhui states, a hint of amusement in his tone.

“They are best friends.”

“And I’m the king of China,” Junhui says with a roll of his eyes.

Wonwoo playfully glares at him, pushing at Junhui’s shoulder to get him moving. He keeps his eyes squinted at the flashing lights of the club, but they widen when he feels Junhui’s fingers wrap around his wrist.

Wonwoo’s eyes trace a path from his hand, up Junhui’s arm, and finally the back of his head. He lets the other guide him past tables and bodies until they reach their friends. When Junhui drops his hold in favor of waving both hands in greeting, Wonwoo can’t shake the coldness creeping against his skin. The noisy cheers from their friends pull Wonwoo from his reverie, leaving him to stutter out his hellos.

“You’re so out of it,” Soonyoung points out with a clap on his back and a knowing smirk. “Here,” he continues, holding up a beer bottle. “Drink and be merry!”

Wonwoo can only stare blankly as his best friend runs out onto the dancefloor, bumping into Mingyu and Minghao before rushing the small platform where Jihoon and Hansol were DJ-ing.

“He’s gonna get himself killed,” Junhui muses. Wonwoo ends up laughing at the thoughtful expression on the other’s face. But if Jihoon’s glare is anything to go by, Junhui’s prediction is an inevitability.

“I’m gonna go sit down and mooch off of Jisoo’s plate.”

Wonwoo tips his beer bottle, a silent gesture for Junhui to go right ahead. He’s fine by his spot, leaning against a low barricade separating dining tables from the dancefloor.

Wonwoo isn’t really one for clubbing, but he can’t exactly say no to his friends, especially considering how hard it is to get everyone together. More often than not, he ends up nursing one drink for the whole night while he people watches.

Mingyu and Minghao are a whole other matter though. It’s evident in the way Mingyu socializes with everyone, and how Minghao gathers a crowd around him when he dances. Their confidence is mesmerizing to watch, even more so when they work in combination.

He’s not sure how much time passes, but next thing Wonwoo knows, there’s a plate of nachos appearing in his view. He follows the arm holding it up, not surprised to find Junhui at the end of it.

He smiles and grabs a chip for himself before tilting his head in the direction of the dancefloor. “How about them? What are their colors?”

Junhui turns his gaze in the general area Wonwoo’s head points to, recognition dawning on his face immediately.

“Gold and silver.”

Wonwoo learns how Mingyu is gold, the color of success, achievement, and triumph. With a link to masculine energy and the power of the sun, there’s no denying how the color fits him. Once Mingyu sets his mind on something, trust that he’ll accomplish it in flying colors.

Gold is confident, passionate, and eye-catching. It is generous and giving, compassionate and loving. Mingyu is tall, dark, and handsome, complete with a long list of talents that make him the most wanted and greatest envy of practically everyone. Some will think he’s being fake and superficial about it all, but Mingyu is an overgrown puppy with a big heart, ready to give his all if it means making others happy.

At the peak of it, gold is wisdom, understanding, and enlightenment, inspiring greater awareness of the self and the soul. Gold may be opulent, but Mingyu manages to keeps things simple. Perhaps it helps that he knows exactly who he is, of what he can and can’t do. He knows his good qualities and will jokingly brag about it, but he’s also aware of where he lacks and seeks to be better because of it.

Alternately, Minghao is silver, one related to the moon and the ebb and flow of the tides. It’s fluid, emotional, sensitive, and mysterious, similar to Minghao’s passion for dance. Minghao’s dancing is compelling to watch, powerful in a different way from Soonyoung’s, graceful in a way far from Junhui’s, but still with moves that no one can keep their eyes off of.

Silver is soothing, calming, and purifying – a fair representation of the boy’s gentle demeanor. The color has sensitive qualities that inspire intuition. Silver is respectable and courteous, dignified, self-controlled, responsible, patient, determined, and organized. Wonwoo thinks of Minghao’s artistic pursuits and preferences that give the boy a sophisticated allure. One look at Minghao’s various works can give everyone an idea of what he’s feeling at different points in time, gaining more from a painted canvas than what they can get from his stoic face. He knows Minghao loves to keep things under control, to prevent chaos from ensuing and disturbing his otherwise calm bubble.

“Trust that the two of them are colors for winners,” Wonwoo says after a few moments. “A perfect match.”

“Complementary, really,” Junhui adds. “Do you notice how Minghao can sometimes look and act as aloof as Jihoon?”

When Wonwoo nods an affirmative, Junhui continues his color lessons. Silver and gray have similar energies, in a way that both colors can be non-committal and insincere. But silver is more lighthearted and optimistic. Gray absorbs the qualities of the colors in and around it, silver reflects it. Wonwoo thinks of how Minghao and Jihoon have the innate ability to shrug things off, even things that should concern them seriously. It’s a revelation to why Jihoon works better with Soonyoung around, or why Minghao seems all the brighter with Mingyu by his side.

Gold, on the other hand, can lead someone to be egotistical, self-righteous, and opportunistic. As self-aware as Mingyu is, there are times when things get way over his head, his pride getting in the way of proper thinking. Wonwoo sees how he needs Minghao’s steady presence to pull him back.

“Now think of them together. Gold and silver. Mingyu and Minghao.”

Wonwoo quickly realizes where Junhui is going. Gold and silver are remarkable on their own, much in the same way that Mingyu and Minghao are amazing as two separate people. But together, they have a push and pull to make sure that they shine even more together. If Minghao dives into the negative qualities of silver, he has Mingyu’s positive gold to reflect. And if Mingyu has too much of gold, he has the grounding qualities of Minghao’s silver to count on. They were good alone, but brighter together.

“They’re best friends,” Wonwoo repeats.

“Sure,” Junhui says, smiling in bemusement. “Whatever makes you sleep at night.”

 

≈ø≈ø≈ø≈ø≈

 

When Jihoon and Hansol finish their DJ sets, Seungcheol suggests they go out for food, prompting a round of cheers and jibes that he’s paying. They laugh when he flusters at their teasing, only to smile gratefully when Jeonghan jumps in to say it was his treat.

The group makes their way to a 24-hour burger joint, and when everyone tucks into their orders, Wonwoo pokes at Junhui to tell him about Seungcheol and Jeonghan.

“Seungcheol is brown,” Junhui says quietly, forehead nearly pressing against Wonwoo’s own. “Jeonghan is pink.”

Wonwoo scrunches his face at the color combination, making Junhui throw his head back in amused chuckles. No one pays them much mind, everyone else caught in their own conversations.

Junhui starts to discuss the colors after he swallows the last mouthful of his burger.

Brown is the color of earth, that which relates to things that are natural and simple. It brings a message of stability and support. Though many think of it as a dull color, brown is reliable and wholesome. It can be frugal and stingy, but it’s also the color of safety and quiet confidence, something as warm and reassuring as a hot cup of coffee. It may not be a favorite of most, but brown is a dose of honesty and sincerity.

Wonwoo begins to understand how Seungcheol is brown the more Junhui explains. It’s in his keen sense of duty to protect and support. It’s in his ability to invoke a sense of security and belonging, with family and friends being of utmost importance. Brown relates to quality in everything – a comfortable home, the best food and drink, and loyal companionship. All things that Seungcheol tries to give them all by way of his friendship. Brown is also the color of structure, but by no means does it encourage perfectionism. Instead, brown encourages orderliness and organization. And it’s very much Seungcheol no matter how Wonwoo feels about the color. Seungcheol is the oldest brother who everyone can count on, not just to support them in whatever they do but also to keep their egos in check.

Junhui goes on to explain that the color’s meaning can change a bit depending on its makeup. Brown can be any odd combination of black, yellow, orange, red, gray, green, blue, pink, and purple. And each of them will add a varying characteristic, much like how different facets of Seungcheol’s personality pop up depending on who he’s hanging with. Brown may not look that great beside other colors, much like how seeing Seungcheol alone with some of their friends could incite some raised eyebrows. But Seungcheol’s color is as warm as that cup of coffee, as sweet as a bar of chocolate, something that anyone is sure to find comfort in.

The passion of red combined with the purity of white create Jeonghan’s pink – the color of love and tranquility. Pink contains the need for action of red and the insight of white. It is the passion and power of red, softened with the purity and openness of white. Wonwoo thinks of how lax Jeonghan is for one minute, only to turn competitive the next. He recalls how many times he’s caught surprised at the older boy’s display of wit. He notes how Jeonghan will pull the older brother card when he wants something, only for the purest of intentions to reveal itself not long after. Often it’s in baiting one of them to talk about their troubles, and later receiving sage advice or even just a means of relieving stress by presenting himself as a listening ear. Pink, after all, is intuitive and insightful, showing tenderness and kindness with empathy and sensitivity.

Pink also represents compassion and nurturing, relating to unconditional love and understanding. Though the color can jump from being the one needing to give nurturing or the one to receive it. It’s reminiscent of how Jeonghan tends to baby everyone, all while seeking their appreciation. Wonwoo shares a mirthful glance with Junhui, both likely thinking of how Chan needs to refer to himself as Jeonghan’s baby until he’s 30, or how Jeonghan has some weird arrangement between himself and Seokmin and Seungkwan to keep each other’s picture as lock screens for a predetermined amount of time.

“That’s another thing,” Junhui remarks. “The way we behave around Seungcheol and Jeonghan adds to why they’re brown and pink.”

Brown is comforting and stabilizing, similar to how pink is calming and reassuring. Both work well in creating safe havens for anyone who seeks it, much like how Seungcheol and Jeonghan are welcoming to their friends.

“And remember how I said brown may also have some pink in it?”

Wonwoo learns that pink also represents the innocence and sweetness of a child, leading people to turn silly at times. It’s reminiscent of how Jeonghan’s playfulness softens Seungcheol’s seriousness, how the latter can turn into a child as long as it’s with the other.

“The colors may not be complementary, but they work because the combined presence just enhances their qualities.”

And Wonwoo does get it. Wherever it is that Seungcheol falls short, Jeonghan can fill for him, and vice versa. And somehow, Wonwoo’s thoughts drift off to Junhui and how easy it is for him to imagine themselves in place of Seungcheol and Jeonghan, or even Mingyu and Minghao.

“Brown and pink, huh,” Wonwoo muses with a hint of a joking tone, shaking himself free of his thoughts. “You’re right, the colors look off together. It’s good that we live in a world of faces and not blobs of color. Brown and pink. What the heck would that even make them?”

“A cupcake, Wonwoo,” Junhui quips easily. “It makes them a chocolate cupcake with strawberry frosting, and all is right in the world.”

It was Wonwoo’s turn to burst out in laughter, earning a few curious glances and knowing looks.

“Is there anything you would both like to share with the class?” Jeonghan asks, the teasing smile on his lips making Wonwoo groan.

Wonwoo makes a concentrated effort to avoid looking in Soonyoung or Seungkwan’s direction, not willing to risk a glance only to end up blushing at their suggestive expressions.

“He has this photography project due and the theme is his favorite color,” Junhui pipes up for him. “So I was teaching him about color personalities and meanings.”

“And he’s laughing because?” Seungcheol prods.

“He was being unfunny about brown and pink. I made a joke about chocolate and strawberries, and then,” Junhui trails off, waving his hand up and down to gesture at Wonwoo.

“His favorite colors are black and white, though,” Soonyoung points out, a concerned glance thrown his best friend’s way.

“Not really,” Wonwoo says. “I just work with those best because there’s no second guessing involved.”

“So what are you gonna do for your project?” Jihoon asks. “Kinda shitty considering your colorblindness.”

“Well,” Wonwoo says, trailing off as he momentarily glances at Junhui before turning his eyes to everyone else. “I need your help.”

 

* * *

 

Wonwoo finds himself grabbing a cup of coffee with Soonyoung. There are two weeks left to go before he has to submit his project, only managing to finish photographing his best friend earlier that day.

“So you’re done right?” Soonyoung asks after swallowing a bite of cake. “I was the last?”

“No,” Wonwoo replies. “I still need to shoot Junnie.”

“Oh? What color is he?”

Wonwoo opens his mouth to respond, blinks his eyes slowly, and purses his lips in thought. “I don’t know,” he says after a pause. “I never really asked.”

Soonyoung hums, stroking at his chin as if it’ll help his thought process. “Considering that it’s Junnie, it can go two ways,” he starts. “He picks a color and either boasts of everything great about him, or he turns all shy that he has to talk about himself. Maybe both. I imagine it’ll be a cute moment.”

“I actually bought a book on the psychology of colors just to double check.”

“Those exist?” Soonyoung asks, mild surprise in his tone. “And what, do you not trust Jun’s comments on us.”

Wonwoo does, of course. Having an additional reference is just a matter of him wanting to keep things under control.

“Well, if you don’t want to ask Junnie what color fits him best, you can always refer to the book, right?”

What Wonwoo doesn’t tell Soonyoung is that he’s been going through the book over and over ever since he got it. He wonders why Junhui never came forward with a color for himself, or for Wonwoo for that matter. There are times when he finds himself looking across the spectrum, trying to fit Junhui in between, only to take him out again when another color seems to match.

Was he indigo that conveys integrity and sincerity? The combination of deep blue and violet means he would carry the attributes of the individual colors. In certain ways, Junhui is similar to Jisoo and Hansol, with the loyalty of blue and uniqueness of violet. And Wonwoo can see how he can be indigo. The color also means wisdom and justice along with fairness and impartiality – a defender of people’s rights to the end. Though it’s probably more accurate to say it’s the defender of cats’ rights when pertaining to Junhui. Indigo also stimulates creative activity, with the dramatic color relating to the world of theater. Considering Junhui’s history in acting, it’s easy to see how the color fits him.

Or perhaps Junhui is magenta, the color of universal harmony and emotional balance. Magenta contains the passion, power, and energy of red, featuring the introspection and quiet energy of violet as its restraints. Wonwoo can’t quite reconcile the idea when he has Soonyoung’s red and Hansol’s violet as references, but perhaps that’s the point. Junhui’s magenta is his own yin and yang, able to find a balance between what he does and how he feels, as well as taking in the mood of a room and knowing how to deal with conflicting energies.

Magenta also promotes compassion, kindness, and cooperation. It is gentle and caring, generating acceptance, tolerance, support, and patience. Magenta is a color of cheerfulness and contentment, giving out an optimistic aura to those around it. Wonwoo also learns that it’s the color of the free spirit. Somehow he hears Minghao’s amused voice in his head saying how part of Junhui’s name means “to fly”. Magenta is a strong and inspiring color. It can appear outrageous and shocking, or innovative and imaginative. How fitting is it for Junhui when magenta represents creativity inspired by beauty?

But Junhui can also be turquoise that presents a friendly and happy color that enjoys life. It’s a combination of blue and a small amount of yellow, fitting itself along the spectrum between green and blue. Turquoise radiates the peace and tranquility of blue, the balance and growth of green, and the uplifting energy of yellow. It’s a color that recharges the spirit in times of stress, one that alleviates feelings of loneliness. It’s in Junhui offering the same calming mood as Jisoo, the same encouraging smiles as Chan, and the same fun-filled atmosphere as Seokmin.

However, turquoise can be self-centered and, at its most extreme, can be boastful and narcissistic. Wonwoo can’t resolve that part to Junhui, unless he considers when he thinks of himself so highly with his joking tone. Or maybe that’s just him wearing rose-tinted glasses.

“Maybe he’s white,” Soonyoung quips.

“White isn’t a color,” Wonwoo scoffs. “It’s the presence of al–”

Wonwoo trails off, eyes widening in realization while Soonyoung grins at him cheekily.

“Exactly.”

 

≈ø≈ø≈ø≈ø≈

 

Wonwoo walks to his dorm room with a little skip in his step. He finally submitted his project and immediately got his grade, earning a proud smile from Professor Han to go with it. Wonwoo is satisfied with how it turned out. And while he’s loathe to admit it to anyone else, he’s happy with the realization finishing the project brings. All that’s left for him is to put his thoughts into action, the idea of which excites and frightens him at the same time. Wonwoo giddily taps the canvas under his arm. He can't wait to show it to Junhui. 

The grin falls from his face the second he passes through the door, though. Junhui is standing by Wonwoo’s desk, pouring over the photographs that litter the space, a disappointed look marring his features.

“Did you finish it?” he asks, holding up a random picture of Jihoon. Junhui’s expression is somber, a wry smile tugging his lips slightly upward when Wonwoo nods an affirmative.

Junhui turns back to the desk, fingers lightly touching each photograph, his smile slowly dissolving into a frown.

Even from a distance, Wonwoo can see some of the colors pop up. He knows the red is from Soonyoung’s favorite snapback. Orange was for the clementines Seungkwan was eating. He remembers the warm brown of Seungcheol’s knitted sweater. Minghao wore a coat with silver sequins for his photos, while Mingyu sported a gold tie in his.

The concentration of green, gray, and pink has Wonwoo coming closer, now standing beside Junhui as both stare at the photographs in front of them.

Wonwoo knows well enough that Jeonghan was wearing a pink sweater, apparently the same design as that of Seungcheol’s. But Seokmin also looks like he’s wearing a pink shirt, even if everyone assured Wonwoo that he had on a soft yellow. There was Jisoo’s blue hat that somehow looks to be in the shade of Chan’s green scarf. Lastly, Hansol’s huge purple headphones that appear just as gray as Jihoon’s tracksuit.

“You took a lot of pictures,” Junhui muses, voice sounding a little shaky. “Everyone is here.”

The light finally clicks in Wonwoo’s head, realizing why Junhui looks sad despite knowing he succeeded against the challenges of his project. Rather than answer the question of what his favorite color was, Wonwoo chose to showcase the people that bring color to life. But none of the photos on the table are of Junhui.

Wonwoo feels a desperate need to fix things, to make Junhui happy again, but his thoughts scatter at the idea of baring his all for the other to see.

When Junhui faces him again, he flashes that same forced smile Wonwoo now comes to hate. “Congratulations,” he says softly. “I, uh, have to go meet Mingha–”

“Do you want to see it?” Wonwoo interjects. He’ll be damned if Junhui takes one more step away from him. “I need you to see it.”

Wonwoo sucks in a deep breath as he waits for Junhui to answer, grip growing tighter around the canvas in his hands. When Junhui bobs his head, Wonwoo turns the board around. He purses his lips in amusement when his roommate squints at it. Junhui’s eyesight isn’t known to be the best with all the reading he does.

“Why is it in black and white?” he asks with a start. “I thought you said you were going to do everything in color.”

“That’s all you have to say about it?” Wonwoo asks back, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip as Junhui steps closer. He holds his breath when the other stops short.

“Is that me? Wait, all those photos are of me. Why is all of it of me?”

“You never told me your color,” Wonwoo starts, “or mine for that matter.”

Wonwoo likens himself to black. It’s not really a color, but rather the lack of it. It relates to the hidden, the secretive, and the unknown, creating an air of mystery. Black keeps things bottled up inside, hidden from the world. It creates a barrier between itself and outside forces, providing comfort while protecting its emotions and hiding its vulnerabilities. Black is the color of intimidation, giving an unfriendly and unapproachable aura because of the power it exudes. It implies self-control and discipline, independence and strong will. But black is also a helpful contrast, bringing other colors to the forefront and making them stand out. Black is Wonwoo to a T, hiding the insecurities stemming from his disability behind a camera, letting the subjects in front of it shine, and painting himself as the mysterious artist.

Black is the end, but it is one that always implies a new beginning. It is the absorption of all color and the absence of light.

Black hides in shadows, while white brings everything to light. What black covers, white uncovers.

“And that’s you,” Wonwoo says, a gentle smile tugging on his lips. He passes the canvas to Junhui, letting the other take in everything on the board.

For all the troubles Wonwoo had in determining a color to pin on Junhui, the answer was plain and simple, in black and white.

White is the balance of all the colors of the spectrum. It’s the representation of both the positive and negative aspects of all colors. By itself, it’s the most complete. He knows that Junhui is far from being perfect, but the light he brings comprises of everything Wonwoo can ever need.

The basic feature of white is equality, implying fairness and impartiality, neutrality and independence. Junhui is one who marches to the beat of his own drum, but remains aware of everyone else, allowing him to adapt to whatever atmosphere he finds himself in.

Wonwoo recalls how Soonyoung once referred to Junhui as the glue that keeps them all together. It comes easier, he thinks, when Junhui’s personality has common aspects with everyone else. He has the brightness of Seokmin, the cheerfulness of Seungkwan, and the playfulness of Jeonghan. He can be as persistent as Chan or as laidback as Jihoon. Junhui can even rival Soonyoung’s passionate energy and Mingyu’s shining confidence, or be calm like Jisoo and languid as Minghao. He’s as out there as Hansol, or something so comforting and familiar as Seungcheol.

Junhui walks through life like the perfect white canvas, ready to imprint his days with all the colors of the spectrum. He opens himself for the creation of anything his mind can come up with. Sometimes Wonwoo thinks that he doesn’t deserve to taint that with his insecurities. White is too pristine and immaculate for him to mar with black. But white is also the color of protection and encouragement, ready to offer a sense of peace and calm, comfort and hope – things that Wonwoo often seeks from Junhui. White is also reflective. Wonwoo has no place to hide, not even behind his camera, when Junhui has the ability to light everything in his way.

White is the color of youth and innocence, reminiscent of when lives were easier and less complicated. And here Wonwoo is, ready to possibly make a mess of himself and Junhui.

“I can never be sure what color is like,” Wonwoo starts, gaze trained on Junhui’s face, watching for every little twitch, looking for a sign whether to move forward or take a step back while he still has some time. But all he can see is earnest hope, so Wonwoo jumps. “I can’t pick a favorite when I don’t know what I’m looking at. But if I can see colors the way everyone else does, I’ll pick whatever it is that makes me feel the way those photographs do.”

There’s a photo of Junhui’s wide grin, one with a radiance that can rival that of Seokmin’s. There’s a picture of Junhui as he pours over a thick textbook, sporting a look of utmost determination that’s reminiscent of Chan. It’s in a dreamy expression that reminds Wonwoo of Hansol and purple, a still frame of a powerful dance that makes him think of Soonyoung and red, a look of childish glee eerily similar to Jeonghan and pink. A dozen or so more photos are spread across the board, but Wonwoo has three in particular that he considers his favorites.

One is of Junhui standing in the middle of a crowd, arms stretched upwards and gleaming smile on as he cheered for one reason or the other. It was a photo filled with so much pride and happiness, untouched by any inhibitions as to where he was, reminding Wonwoo of Seungkwan’s orange and Mingyu’s gold.

The second photo is of Junhui among their friends, smiling in contentment while sitting in a corner. Wonwoo doesn’t quite remember what they were talking about in that moment. But while everyone else looks rowdy and noisy, the look of quiet composure on Junhui’s face reminds Wonwoo of Jihoon’s gray and Minghao’s silver.

Wonwoo’s absolute favorite, the picture he loves the most, is one of Junhui fast asleep. He was wrapped up in a down comforter with the low early morning light casting shadows against his face. Junhui looks as peaceful as the calming gaze Jisoo gives, all tinged in blue. Junhui looks and feels like home, just like how the smell of coffee or a warm hug from Seungcheol makes Wonwoo feel like jumping into the depths of the brown pools of cat-like eyes.

“What are you trying to say?”

“The only certainty I have is of black and white.”

“So why me?” Junhui asks. He stares at Wonwoo with searching eyes, bottom lip caught between his teeth to hide his quivers.

Wonwoo matches his gaze easily now that he realizes the hard part is over. It’s out there and all he has left to do is make sure Junhui knows it’s real.

“The answer isn’t always in black and white. But in this case, it is, because those are the colors that mean you and me.”

 

* * *

 

When Wonwoo and Junhui walk hand in hand into their favorite café, they meet the loud cheers and joking jeers of their friends. While Junhui hides his smile against Wonwoo’s shoulder, Wonwoo holds his head high and flashes a beaming grin. No amount of teasing can dull the happiness he feels against the burst of colors before him.


End file.
